h2>Environmentalists vs. Big TP

The war between the environmentalists and the toilet paper manufacturers (I’ll call them “Big TP”) is heating up. The tree lovers seek to wipe out the soft varieties. The tissue-issue is that Big TP cuts down trees to make the soft, fluffy bottom wipe.

The Environmental groups say it is a unnecessary American excess that has got to be stopped. These groups accuse Big TP of using its Big A (advertising budget) to influence us to want softer toilet paper than we deserve. Big TP says they only make it super soft to fulfill their customers existing desires.

Plush toilet paper is normally made by chopping down and grinding up trees.

Now they are not going as far as to ask us to revert to the ancient method the Romans used which consisted of a branch shaped like a hockey stick and a sponge or even the old time favorite mussel shell. They want Big TP to make exclusively recycled toilet paper.

Problem is… recycled toilet paper is a little rough on the bottom. You might as well just use the newspaper its made from.

Big TP has made some concessions and are working on more user friendly recycled paper but it has not caught on too well with the folks as of yet. In Europe the government forces the rough stuff on their subjects. Would our government here in America try that? A year ago I’d say not a chance but lately…. who knows.

Toilet paper is far from being the biggest threat to the world’s forests. Add in the facial tissue and it accounts for 5 percent of the U.S. forest-products industry. I’m going to estimate that Congressional Bailout and Healthcare Bills make up at least 2% but I have no data to back that assumption up.

The perpetual burning of the forests in California as well as forest fires around the globe have got to be a fairly large percentage as well, but the environ”mental”ists don’t seem too upset over those trees being wasted, but I’m getting sidetracked.

OK, to sum it all up, the environmentally-friendly method of cleaning the behind, short of the corn cob, is to buy the toilet paper made out of out of recycled newspapers. Wait a minute, the newspapers are made from cutting down and grinding up trees too. Hmmm, I think I have the answer. How about this. Let’s keep the ever so soft Charmin for the bum and make the newspapers out of recycled toilet paper.

Thanks for visiting and here’s a Charmin coupon for your trouble. Enjoy and have a great day.